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All I want for Christmas is a Crossbow

Every year it's the same thing. Family and friends all want to know what to buy me for Christmas. I dread it all December long, because I never know what to ask for. After all - if I need it, I just buy it for myself. And if I want it...I just buy it for myself. Who wants to wait to unwrap something that you could have gone out and purchased for yourself?

I believe that many of us suffer from "can't see the trees for the forest" syndrome when it comes to our own needs. To me a Christmas gift should be something you never thought about buying yourself. Some of the best gifts I've ever gotten were things that somebody else, using powerful observation skills, realized I truly needed. Whether it was a first aid kit or a jack for my car, someone was astute enough to see a need that even I didn't recognize. Those items make great gifts - not just because they truly are needed, but also because they say, loud and clear, "I care about you enough to think about your needs."

Of course, there's nothing wrong with the practical, common-sense gifts either - they certainly have their place. Take me, for instance. A great, no-brainer gift for me any Christmas season is a crossbow. There are so many sizes, shapes, brands, and colors to choose from! There's quad-limb crossbows, recurve crossbows, compound crossbows, medieval crossbows, and pistol crossbows from Horton, Barnett, Tenpoint, Excalibur, PSE, and gads of other manufacturers. With so many styles to choose from, how can you go wrong?

And crossbows are so versatile, too. Not only can I use them for ridding the garden of varmits, they have dozens of other applications as well, such as:

  • adorning the living room wall
  • knocking those last few autumn leaves off the tree in the front yard
  • adorning the bedroom wall
  • nailing loose shingles to the roof
  • adorning the basement wall
  • stringing a laundry line between two wooden posts
  • adorning the office wall
  • popping balloons
  • adorning the garage wall
  • scaring that stray cat (the one that always cr@ps on my lawn)
  • adorning the kitchen wall

    And if that isn't enough, crossbow accessories make great stocking stuffers! There's crossbow targets, bolts, replacement strings, bolts, scopes, bolts, string wax, crossbow cases...and oh, yeah - bolts. Carbon and aluminum. Yummy.

    So I guess what I'm trying to say is, if you see a definite gaping hole in my life that only a particular possession can fill, kudos to you for recognizing and filling it come Christmas day. But if you don't have the time (or simply don't care), just know that you'll never miss if you buy me a new crossbow.

    And really, who wouldn't want a new crossbow every Christmas? Especially with all those walls just waiting for a good adorning.

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